Snarkshgitable
by Konky
Summary: He just wanted to give a compliment...


**AN: Nothing besides the plot belongs to me. Still without a beta so I apologise for my English. Hope you like it, just had this ideia half a hour ago.**

**Enjoy and R&R.**

**Beijos.**

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****Hogwarts, May 2, 1998.**

"The one year anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. Hogwarts is beautifully decorated for this evening, don't you think Sir?"

"…"

"Sir?"

"Miss Granger, why are you here speaking to me instead of dancing around with one of your friends?"

"Well Sir, most of my friends are already dancing and, between both of us, I don't fancy de idea of dancing right now. The last time I tried I left with my right foot injured."

"That's because you didn't look for the skilled partner you need. And again I must ask, why me?"

"I really enjoy your company Sir. You can be a perfect git sometimes, but your sarcastic personality can be very appealing and I must add you are dashing today Professor."

"I am not your professor anymore. So the mystery why you seek my company is resolved, but why did you came alone today Miss? I see you didn't bring that dunderhead weasel with you."

"No, he's traveling with his brother in Romenia until the end of the summer."

"It must be hard stay away from such a delightful boyfriend for so long."

"He is not my boyfriend! We are just friends."

"I see. For a moment I thought you were affected enough after all those years with a bunch of redheads to actually attach yourself with one. Or perhaps I'm wrong and you actually are 'seeing' one of them. Once I though you would know what is best for you gir-"

"I most certainly know what is best for me! I'm not dating any of the Weasleys, as a matter of fact I am not 'seeing' anyone if you wish to know, that is why I came alone. I will not tolerate the company of a drooling boy all night. And stop treating me like an annoying little girl. I am a young woman. Young yes, but still a woman and I wish to be addressed like one."

_A boy did you say? What about a drooling man?_ "Indeed Miss Granger. It really seems you are a woman. One fine specimen if I must say."

"…" _He just gave me a compliment?_

"You look exquisite in that dress and I do not think about flattering compliments and speak of them that easily. Especially not to women."

_Especially not to women? Why is that? Oh dear Circe!_ "Professor... If you need someone to talk to about it, I'm here."

"Talk about what exactly Miss?"

"I will totally understand." _Probably no, but that is not the point. _"And if you need any help or assistance gathering up the courage I will be at your side." _Giving you longing looks but I will be there._

"Gods Woman! What are you talking about?"

"That's fine Sir. After Harry confessed his sexual tendency it became a common subject among people. After all, he is Harry Potter – the Gryffindor hero. So it would be easier to break the news about your homosexuality."

"..."

"And it came to my acknowledgment that Remus is quite lonely since his break-up with that rock singer - was Sam his name? - last Valentine's Day. And he seems to like the bad guy stereotype. Now that I think about it he also has a pull towards men whose names begin with the letter S. Well, what a luck fellow you are, you have a plate full of S's. Severus, Snape, Slythe-"

"Enough! Miss Granger, you are leading me to believe you like my _s_nide _s_ide. You must be quite fond of it since you seem to treasure every possible move slightly snarkshgitable I make. I cannot even give a compliment and you jump to the most absurd conclusion only to piss me off. That is the only explanation that keeps me from gently involving my hand around your precious little neck really tightly."

"It's alright if you don't want to talk abou-"

"Impertinent woman! I'm not gay! I do not have a problem with the subject, although I would like to keep Potter's sexual activities far away from my mind. And do not, for the rest of your life, speak of Lupin and myself in such a... frightful manner!"

"Oh! So was I wrong assuming you were gay?"

"Obviously."

"So... if you are not gay... what was that comment 'especially not woman'?"

"I don't flatter woman that frequently in case you haven't noticed. I do not even care for them to know what I think about them after the 'incident'."

"What 'incident' Sir?"

"Nothing I wish to remember. All you need to know is that it involved a great amount o alcohol, a simple complement about the color of her robes, after all they were black, and Madam Hook launched herself at me. I couldn't even disentangle myself from her before she filled up my bum. Do not laugh at me Miss! I will ask Dumbledore to fill you up and then we talk about it. That's right, isn't just the idea terrifying?"

"Well… After that, you, who already are an extremely private man, decided to keep your distance from women in general afraid they would all want a piece of Snapelicious?"

"Precisely! Snapelicious!? Little insuferabl-"

"What made you change your mind Sir?"

"While I voted not to make unnecessary remarks about the female population in general I opened an exception in case a woman truly deserved said response."

"That means you truly think that highly of me?" _What that look means? And is he coming closer or am I?_

"You can be perfectly alluring when you are not annoying Miss Granger. Though I have to say your annoyingly side can be acceptable and even, dare I say, attractive sometimes. _Sometimes_ Miss."

"Well, I rather like your snarkshgitable side very much Mister. However, would you truly have the nerves to strangle me?"

"At the moment I would not for I must say that I am increasingly becoming fond of your precious little neck."

_What is he going to d-_ "_Severus..."_

**FIM**


End file.
